Is There Hope?

My last blog post generated this comment from a subscriber:

My concern is with the political statements in your recent blog post. I believe you are drawing conclusions based on sources that do not present a full or accurate picture of what is happening in the United States. The media landscape today is deeply polarized, and much of what is presented as fact is often incomplete, misleading, or simply untrue.

The comments in question from my last blog post went like this:

I am as concerned as anyone about the egotistical autocracy that has taken shape in Washington. And as a Canadian, the repeated threats to our sovereignty need to be taken as real because once raw power becomes the primary tool of diplomacy, the unthinkable becomes possible. ICE, the murder of American citizens followed by regime apologetics, rolling back all social justice and environmental initiatives.

As soon as I read his objections to my statements, even though they were couched in respectful terms, I felt my heart clench, as if through the politeness what I was hearing was, “You don’t know what you are talking about. I do.”

Despite feeling provoked, a little corner of my mind preserved just enough equanimity to tell me not to be reactive. Clearly, he had made an effort to be respectful, and he deserved the same. I took a breath and began a reply by thanking him for getting in touch, and then I explained why I disagreed with his positions.

He opened respectfully, I followed respectfully, and an email exchange followed that I am sharing with the permission of this other person. At one point I summarized it like this:

My views are closer to those of Bruce Springsteen and yours seem to me to align with the Trump administration.

My blog post had ventured into the realm of politics not with the agenda of advancing my own views on current issues but to explore how I see the spiritual intersecting with the everyday, and more specifically, how I justify investing in a Shabbat practice in the midst of a world that seems to need me much more as a social organizer or political activist than a seeker of the holy.

And so, when he wrote to me:

We are not going to see eye to eye on these issues. What I would respectfully suggest is that you avoid the subjects in your blog posts. And I know for you it is not going to be easy, but your news sources are simply biased. They are also unreliable. And I say that with 100% confidence,

I responded with:

My understanding of Mussar — and, in fact, of Judaism as a whole — is that there is no separation between the natural / social world and the spiritual world. They are one and the same. And if I am a spiritual seeker, then I must do my seeking in the midst of the regular world. Jews don’t have monks and monasteries. We live in society and pursue holiness within the world, not by stepping outside it.

And since he had 100% confidence that I was being misled by the media, I asked him a question that is of vital concern to me as a Canadian, regarding President Trump’s ongoing insult to the Canadian people and our leaders by consistently referring to Prime Minister Carney as “Governor” and laying claim to our country as the 51st state. I asked him: “Would you say that I am misled on that as well?”

His response was important to keeping our conversation going. He answered:

You are definitely correct that Trump disrespects Canada and again, his arrogance and attitude don’t do him any favors, or the country in general.

That was amazing to me. He held views opposite my own, but he was willing and able to concede that this was not a case of “I’m all right and you are all wrong.” He had not turned off his critical faculties for the sake of partisanship, as I believe so many people have.

From what I read and hear, the sorts of polarized differences of opinion we were expressing usually devolve into mutual verbal assaults, but what I want to share with you is the hopeful message that this person and I were able to disagree at length on almost every point AND we were able to do it in a respectful way. As I said to him:

We are already accomplishing something that is almost miraculous in this world of ours, which is that we are disagreeing respectfully. That is not an achievement to be minimized. I wish more people could do that.

He was listening and was able to acknowledge some things, just as I was striving to listen and to acknowledge the truth, wherever it lay. As I said to him,

I am grateful to you because I take your comments as tough questions I need to ask myself. I can’t just dismiss you because I don’t agree with you. For my own sake, I need to formulate my thoughts so I am comfortable with the foundation on which they stand.

I signed off by saying:

“I am glad that you took the time and trouble to explain your perspectives. I value that. I now have a clearer understanding of where we agree and where we differ and that is valuable to me. It is such an unfortunate failing of contemporary “communications” that people are not listening to one another but rather trying to hammer other people with their ideas. Too often people are listening only to other people who echo their own views. What a loss. Pirkei Avot asks, “Who is wise?” And the answer is, “One who learns from every person.” I have a clear feeling that because we are communicating on a foundation of respect and with an intention to listen and learn, we would be able to talk about these ideas. And, who knows, maybe you would convince me of something or I might convince you! A Mussar student has to be open to learning and change.”

And he had the last word, adding: “This email exchange with you made me put into practice Mussar and I am thankful for that. So thank you.”

I think there is hope. Do you agree?