These words are so true! I am very inquisitive, and think about and study Mussar teachings everyday, as well as studying the earliest beginnings of both Judaism and Christianity, and yet on a day to day basis, I am easily distracted by social media and other activities leading to living without purpose. I then feel guilt for wasting my time and my life. By paying attention to the why's and wherefores' of the passing moments of my life, my actions can become more aligned with my purpose which is to become the best version of myself in this lifetime. Through my study and practice of Mussar I witness many positive changes in my everyday life, and after eighty years of spiritual drifting, there's still a long way to go. I appreciate your teachings and guidance, they are a great help and support on my journey,
"Can you find a lesson for yourself in what’s going on in the world around you, whether close up or in the distant halls of power, that relates to your own spiritual curriculum?"
Very much so! The last 6-odd months or so have been a very interesting time of noticing lessons and actually needing to follow through on learning them. And I can tell that learning is happening!
The lesson that's currently top of my list is facing pessimism and meanness. It's very easy to get swept up in a group's negativity, especially when that negativity is used as a kind of community bonding activity. Everywhere from fandom circles to activist spaces to workplaces you find the small talk of complaints as the primary method of socializing. And I do understand it! Sharing grievances with others in your same or similar circumstances can be very helpful, if nothing else than to prove that you're not alone in experiencing the issues.
But, for me personally, I'm becoming aware of how often that kind of constant negativity affects my entire being, from mental rumination to emotional dysregulation to physical pains. Plus, honestly, it no longer feels good to join in. Following that note in the direction of "learning is happening," I'm finding that when I *do* default back to my old habit of reacting cruelly or keep circling around meanness, what joy or good feelings that come with it do not last as long as before.
If nothing else, I'm becoming more aware in the moment of what I'm thinking about a situation, which gives me a much better chance to question why I'm thinking it and if that's what I really want to be thinking. And maybe it is! Sometimes what is objectively a mean thought or look at a situation *is* the one I want (rage towards injustice still looks like rage). But it's also the perfect time to see if that's really actually what I want. Is it worth the anger, the tension, the harsh words, the stress towards the other person or people involved, the overall bad feelings--and so much more? Or is it not?
With the current state of The Everything going on in the U.S. and in the world, it's become so important to me to really interrogate my responses to things. It's not hard to find differences between people, especially when those differences are being wielded like knives to disconnect us all. But over and over, I come back to the same idea: is it more important for me to deepen the wound or to patch it up? If we've both said or done things to hurt the other, that needs to be acknowledged, but it can't just stop there. I'd rather reach a place of respect and understanding--even if we still ultimately disagree on a topic!--than to keep being an enemy to someone just because we can.
So, yeah, that's pretty much top of my personal spiritual curriculum.
I have been observing Shabbat more since taking Your class, An Oasis in Time. While observing Shabbat started with physical actions, a special tablecloth just for the 24 hours, lighting candles, making sure I had a Challah, observing meant going to Friday Services (Reform)and then adding Saturday morning Services, ( more Conservative). Then, the Rabbi from whom I had also learned a lot about Judaism left. The congregation shifted to only Reform. While I don’t judge the Reform congregation, I began to notice I wasn’t keeping the Sabbath the way I had previously, I exchanged money on Saturdays, would buy food or go out for a meal on Shabbat after Services. I felt myself drift away, not by force from anyone, just not following my own inner conviction and saying to myself, well, just this one time, which turned into a few times etc. As my physical actions wandered, so did my spiritual actions. I felt empty inside. To avoid writing a book about this past year, I will wrap up by saying I have found another congregation. The community has helped me regain my footing. My Shabbat practices are coming back. I am making much more of an effort to set aside my day of rest. There is a flow to my life and an opening to God within my everyday life. My Mussar practices are getting done more and life is simply better. I often think of Joseph and how much strength, faith and bitachon (among many other middot) he had to hold his belief in One God while living in a land of pagans. When I start to say, “just this once,” now I also recall how the butcher came to sell non kosher meat. Thank you, for the lesson, Alan.
I love this teaching, Alan, and consider it to be perhaps my primary spiritual practice. I wrote an essay called "The Hand of God is in the Sh*t. Shmutz cleaning as Spiritual Practice.
I don't believe we can cure ourselves of our less-than-wonderful character aspects. Rather I believe that with lots of spiritual practice and healing work, we become hugely more aware, and can more easily contain/ control/ walk away from/ etc. the SO HUMAN shmutz once more. And always work-in-progress. I think we get quicker and more able to be kind to ourselves and others this way.
Well, I can’t say for sure whether we can cure ourselves or just contain negative behaviours, but I can say with certainty that Rabbi Yisrael Salanter believed we can change in very significant ways. He called awareness the 1st stage of Mussar practice, and then (much like your language), he named the 2nd stage conquering. But he had a 3rd stage as well, which he called tikkun; i.e., rectification. The stress on awareness is good and necessary — that’s where Rabbi Moshe Chaim Luzzatto begins his classic book, Messilat Yesharim — but our Jewish wisdom teachers have always required that we push beyond awareness and beyond self-restraint into action, and change comes from doing.
Yes indeed. You are your own most precious teacher, you and the you reflected back to you by others.
These words are so true! I am very inquisitive, and think about and study Mussar teachings everyday, as well as studying the earliest beginnings of both Judaism and Christianity, and yet on a day to day basis, I am easily distracted by social media and other activities leading to living without purpose. I then feel guilt for wasting my time and my life. By paying attention to the why's and wherefores' of the passing moments of my life, my actions can become more aligned with my purpose which is to become the best version of myself in this lifetime. Through my study and practice of Mussar I witness many positive changes in my everyday life, and after eighty years of spiritual drifting, there's still a long way to go. I appreciate your teachings and guidance, they are a great help and support on my journey,
"Can you find a lesson for yourself in what’s going on in the world around you, whether close up or in the distant halls of power, that relates to your own spiritual curriculum?"
Very much so! The last 6-odd months or so have been a very interesting time of noticing lessons and actually needing to follow through on learning them. And I can tell that learning is happening!
The lesson that's currently top of my list is facing pessimism and meanness. It's very easy to get swept up in a group's negativity, especially when that negativity is used as a kind of community bonding activity. Everywhere from fandom circles to activist spaces to workplaces you find the small talk of complaints as the primary method of socializing. And I do understand it! Sharing grievances with others in your same or similar circumstances can be very helpful, if nothing else than to prove that you're not alone in experiencing the issues.
But, for me personally, I'm becoming aware of how often that kind of constant negativity affects my entire being, from mental rumination to emotional dysregulation to physical pains. Plus, honestly, it no longer feels good to join in. Following that note in the direction of "learning is happening," I'm finding that when I *do* default back to my old habit of reacting cruelly or keep circling around meanness, what joy or good feelings that come with it do not last as long as before.
If nothing else, I'm becoming more aware in the moment of what I'm thinking about a situation, which gives me a much better chance to question why I'm thinking it and if that's what I really want to be thinking. And maybe it is! Sometimes what is objectively a mean thought or look at a situation *is* the one I want (rage towards injustice still looks like rage). But it's also the perfect time to see if that's really actually what I want. Is it worth the anger, the tension, the harsh words, the stress towards the other person or people involved, the overall bad feelings--and so much more? Or is it not?
With the current state of The Everything going on in the U.S. and in the world, it's become so important to me to really interrogate my responses to things. It's not hard to find differences between people, especially when those differences are being wielded like knives to disconnect us all. But over and over, I come back to the same idea: is it more important for me to deepen the wound or to patch it up? If we've both said or done things to hurt the other, that needs to be acknowledged, but it can't just stop there. I'd rather reach a place of respect and understanding--even if we still ultimately disagree on a topic!--than to keep being an enemy to someone just because we can.
So, yeah, that's pretty much top of my personal spiritual curriculum.
I have been observing Shabbat more since taking Your class, An Oasis in Time. While observing Shabbat started with physical actions, a special tablecloth just for the 24 hours, lighting candles, making sure I had a Challah, observing meant going to Friday Services (Reform)and then adding Saturday morning Services, ( more Conservative). Then, the Rabbi from whom I had also learned a lot about Judaism left. The congregation shifted to only Reform. While I don’t judge the Reform congregation, I began to notice I wasn’t keeping the Sabbath the way I had previously, I exchanged money on Saturdays, would buy food or go out for a meal on Shabbat after Services. I felt myself drift away, not by force from anyone, just not following my own inner conviction and saying to myself, well, just this one time, which turned into a few times etc. As my physical actions wandered, so did my spiritual actions. I felt empty inside. To avoid writing a book about this past year, I will wrap up by saying I have found another congregation. The community has helped me regain my footing. My Shabbat practices are coming back. I am making much more of an effort to set aside my day of rest. There is a flow to my life and an opening to God within my everyday life. My Mussar practices are getting done more and life is simply better. I often think of Joseph and how much strength, faith and bitachon (among many other middot) he had to hold his belief in One God while living in a land of pagans. When I start to say, “just this once,” now I also recall how the butcher came to sell non kosher meat. Thank you, for the lesson, Alan.
I love this teaching, Alan, and consider it to be perhaps my primary spiritual practice. I wrote an essay called "The Hand of God is in the Sh*t. Shmutz cleaning as Spiritual Practice.
Thank you, Jinx. I guess if it doesn’t clean away shmutz, whatever spiritual practice someone is doing just isn’t working for them!
I don't believe we can cure ourselves of our less-than-wonderful character aspects. Rather I believe that with lots of spiritual practice and healing work, we become hugely more aware, and can more easily contain/ control/ walk away from/ etc. the SO HUMAN shmutz once more. And always work-in-progress. I think we get quicker and more able to be kind to ourselves and others this way.
Well, I can’t say for sure whether we can cure ourselves or just contain negative behaviours, but I can say with certainty that Rabbi Yisrael Salanter believed we can change in very significant ways. He called awareness the 1st stage of Mussar practice, and then (much like your language), he named the 2nd stage conquering. But he had a 3rd stage as well, which he called tikkun; i.e., rectification. The stress on awareness is good and necessary — that’s where Rabbi Moshe Chaim Luzzatto begins his classic book, Messilat Yesharim — but our Jewish wisdom teachers have always required that we push beyond awareness and beyond self-restraint into action, and change comes from doing.
I couldn't agree more. You say it beautifully. I think of this sometimes as love-in-action!
Thank you for all the important, life-changing work you do, Alan.
It's been fun "talking" with you...