Hi Jeff. I hope your daughter is well and will continue to be. There are many circumstances and I'm really not speaking to the challenging ones, like when you have someone in the hospital who might need you. I'm mostly addressing people who just keep their phones operating on Shabbat as they do every other day of the week. No special circumstances, just as engaged and connected as every other day. Those people are missing an opportunity to develop positive middot as you mention regarding bitachon [trust] though there are others as well. Anyone who aspires to spiritual elevation needs to have boundaries that keep the forces of worldly life at bay, at least one day a week.
I believe there are many, helping someone who is having a mental and emotional breakdown, connecting with someone who is sick or lonely, comforting the bereaved. I need to make it a “you” call not an “I” call.
And more to the point of the question, is there perhaps "desire" in wanting to connect or comfort someone? I'm thinking of the distinction between need and want.
My own practice revolves around a question: does this NEED to be done today because the issue is life-or-death? Comforting the bereaved and connecting with someone who is lonely are wonderful actions, but why today? Why not tomorrow? Will they not be bereaved tomorrow? Will the sick person not comforted tomorrow? If a person values the injunction and mission of pursuing sanctification, they will find other ways to fulfill those worthy activities.
The difficult part for me is that I live-stream services, and I have Jewish textbooks on my phone and iPad. Does intent make a difference? I don't do games or shopping, and do my best to avoid news and social media. And I have a short list of friends and family for whom I will always answer the phone because those relationships are my lifeblood. We've wired our house so lights come on at sundown and turn off at 11 pm, but that's all week long. My last oven had a shabbat mode, although I never used it. Is using technology like that a loophole, or again, does intent matter?
Alanna, you give me a good opportunity to reiterate what I say in my book, is that I am not prescriptive. I don't tell anyone what they should or should not do. I want people to see the importance and value of holiness, and then to recognize that a key factor in pursuing holiness is boundaries. It's like wanting to have clean water; it requires boundaries to keep everything else out.
As ideas are presented and presented again, they start to creep into my consciousness. The fears I have as reasons 'not to' even present themselves and I have lived through a Shabbat with my phone turned off. When the desire to connect inward becomes greater than the desire to stay connected outwardly Shabbat really does have an effect for me. Thank you for the guidance, Alan.
It's amazing the impact Charlie Kirk has had and continues to have on the world.
Shabbat - What An Idea! - Imagine if the ethics of Shabbat becomes mainstream - it's beginning to look possible. What a Kiddush Hashem!
Apparently, Hashem knew that Disconnecting is at least as important as Connecting. Especially given the digital age is constantly connecting us to everything non-holy. The world needs Shabbat now more than ever.
Not only is “Disconnecting at least as important as Connecting,” it can be a prerequisite. You can’t make use of the channel if it is already in use for another purpose.
Alan, Loving your posts from the beginning. Our daughter had brain tumor surgery, and thank G!d she is well with a favorable prognosis. For the first few months after, I would leave my cell phone on, “just in case.” I am sure you will soon move to the subject of bitachon/trust. While she was having surgery, and recovering, with a shaky post-op course, I leaned heavily into bitachon/trust, but it was not where I had been previously. It was when I re-established more bitachon/trust that I was able to turn my cell phone off again on Shabbat, knowing that if G!d forbid something happened, my knowledge of it before sundown
would not alter the outcome. She has plenty of support, including her partner. After October 7th, I imagine for many (?most?) in Israel, their bitachon/trust was also shattered. I wonder if the survey you quoted was data from before or after October 7th.
Hi, Alan. I've been reading and enjoying your Holiness blog since it began. I especially loved the entries on being a spiritual orphan. Now there's a book for you to write! I realize Paul Cowan wrote one by that title, but I'd love to hear more of your experience and thinking since I've followed you since Jacob's Ladder and been your student since that fateful SF Bay Area Jewish Spirituality Conference somewhere around the year 2000.
Contemplating Shabbat and cell phones--I keep mine with me for a Pikuach Nefesh reason since my Continuous Glucose Monitor talks to my phone which keeps me apprised of dangerous highs and lows. Admittedly, that makes it extra hard not to notice anything else coming through my phone, though I've turned off other notifications.
I'm also reading your knew book and wondering how to create Shabbat for myself since I live with my brother who is not interested and is a habitual light-turner-off-er. How could I manage to finish work on time on Friday nights during the winter? T Anyway, you've at least got me pondering steps I could take. I've already made Shabbat a day of physical rest and am practicing letting go of feeling burdened by anything on the to-do list.
Hi Debra. ALL the rabbis agree that pikuach nefesh pushes off all other considerations. We are supposed to live by the commandments, not die by them. We love life!! I know how difficult it can be to coordinate conditions with someone who is on a different page in their thinking. What matters is not what is going on in the environment but what YOU are doing, and why. Maybe you and your brother could make a deal about which lights will remain on through Shabbat. As long as you have the lights you need without having to turn them on, what he does elsewhere is not your concern. It's not easy, but it takes that kind of effort to build the boundaries that make holiness possible.
I agree with Mark that there are times when the phone can, and should be used. Connecting with someone who you don't see, encouraging someone or simply seeing if they are okay is a good use for the phone. There may also be times when someone needs to connect with you that may need your help. In theory, a blanket no cell phone use policy sounds great, but there are instances where the cell phone is used for productive purposes.
Of course there are times when the phone can, and should be used. The key word I would apply is "urgent." If it is just to "encourage someone" or to see "if they are okay", there is no urgency. What about those activities can't be done on Friday or Sunday? And that question takes on extra weight if someone wants to cultivate a space for holiness in the week. The rabbis were very careful to put up the fence some distance from the cliff, and there are very good reasons to be concerned for what will happen once that screen is in that hand.
I had only a vague idea of who Charlie Kirk was prior to his shooting. I knew he was a staunch supporter and defender of Israel and the Jewish People, which I appreciated (and, sadly, seems to be becoming more and more rare among Christian Conservatives.) Other than that, I didn't know anything about him. I was surprised to find out he kept a sabbath and appreciate that his dedication to doing so has encouraged others to consider the idea. I especially appreciated learning that he turned his phone off during his sabbath. I don't do that, but your book and this post is certainly causing me to wonder what I have been missing out on by not doing so. Thank you for this blog and your encouragement towards leading a more sanctified life.
Thank you, Sarah. All of what I am saying is directed to leading a more sanctified life. If that's important to you, then the concerns about phones are pertinent. There is a direct connection. One of the key qualities of the holy is that it is "set apart" and everything that comes through the phone punctures that apart-ness.
Hi Jeff. I hope your daughter is well and will continue to be. There are many circumstances and I'm really not speaking to the challenging ones, like when you have someone in the hospital who might need you. I'm mostly addressing people who just keep their phones operating on Shabbat as they do every other day of the week. No special circumstances, just as engaged and connected as every other day. Those people are missing an opportunity to develop positive middot as you mention regarding bitachon [trust] though there are others as well. Anyone who aspires to spiritual elevation needs to have boundaries that keep the forces of worldly life at bay, at least one day a week.
I believe there are many, helping someone who is having a mental and emotional breakdown, connecting with someone who is sick or lonely, comforting the bereaved. I need to make it a “you” call not an “I” call.
And more to the point of the question, is there perhaps "desire" in wanting to connect or comfort someone? I'm thinking of the distinction between need and want.
My own practice revolves around a question: does this NEED to be done today because the issue is life-or-death? Comforting the bereaved and connecting with someone who is lonely are wonderful actions, but why today? Why not tomorrow? Will they not be bereaved tomorrow? Will the sick person not comforted tomorrow? If a person values the injunction and mission of pursuing sanctification, they will find other ways to fulfill those worthy activities.
The difficult part for me is that I live-stream services, and I have Jewish textbooks on my phone and iPad. Does intent make a difference? I don't do games or shopping, and do my best to avoid news and social media. And I have a short list of friends and family for whom I will always answer the phone because those relationships are my lifeblood. We've wired our house so lights come on at sundown and turn off at 11 pm, but that's all week long. My last oven had a shabbat mode, although I never used it. Is using technology like that a loophole, or again, does intent matter?
Alanna, you give me a good opportunity to reiterate what I say in my book, is that I am not prescriptive. I don't tell anyone what they should or should not do. I want people to see the importance and value of holiness, and then to recognize that a key factor in pursuing holiness is boundaries. It's like wanting to have clean water; it requires boundaries to keep everything else out.
As ideas are presented and presented again, they start to creep into my consciousness. The fears I have as reasons 'not to' even present themselves and I have lived through a Shabbat with my phone turned off. When the desire to connect inward becomes greater than the desire to stay connected outwardly Shabbat really does have an effect for me. Thank you for the guidance, Alan.
Such an interesting and insightful comment, Kate. Thank you.
It's amazing the impact Charlie Kirk has had and continues to have on the world.
Shabbat - What An Idea! - Imagine if the ethics of Shabbat becomes mainstream - it's beginning to look possible. What a Kiddush Hashem!
Apparently, Hashem knew that Disconnecting is at least as important as Connecting. Especially given the digital age is constantly connecting us to everything non-holy. The world needs Shabbat now more than ever.
Yasher Koach, Alan!
Not only is “Disconnecting at least as important as Connecting,” it can be a prerequisite. You can’t make use of the channel if it is already in use for another purpose.
Alan, Loving your posts from the beginning. Our daughter had brain tumor surgery, and thank G!d she is well with a favorable prognosis. For the first few months after, I would leave my cell phone on, “just in case.” I am sure you will soon move to the subject of bitachon/trust. While she was having surgery, and recovering, with a shaky post-op course, I leaned heavily into bitachon/trust, but it was not where I had been previously. It was when I re-established more bitachon/trust that I was able to turn my cell phone off again on Shabbat, knowing that if G!d forbid something happened, my knowledge of it before sundown
would not alter the outcome. She has plenty of support, including her partner. After October 7th, I imagine for many (?most?) in Israel, their bitachon/trust was also shattered. I wonder if the survey you quoted was data from before or after October 7th.
Hi, Alan. I've been reading and enjoying your Holiness blog since it began. I especially loved the entries on being a spiritual orphan. Now there's a book for you to write! I realize Paul Cowan wrote one by that title, but I'd love to hear more of your experience and thinking since I've followed you since Jacob's Ladder and been your student since that fateful SF Bay Area Jewish Spirituality Conference somewhere around the year 2000.
Contemplating Shabbat and cell phones--I keep mine with me for a Pikuach Nefesh reason since my Continuous Glucose Monitor talks to my phone which keeps me apprised of dangerous highs and lows. Admittedly, that makes it extra hard not to notice anything else coming through my phone, though I've turned off other notifications.
I'm also reading your knew book and wondering how to create Shabbat for myself since I live with my brother who is not interested and is a habitual light-turner-off-er. How could I manage to finish work on time on Friday nights during the winter? T Anyway, you've at least got me pondering steps I could take. I've already made Shabbat a day of physical rest and am practicing letting go of feeling burdened by anything on the to-do list.
Hi Debra. ALL the rabbis agree that pikuach nefesh pushes off all other considerations. We are supposed to live by the commandments, not die by them. We love life!! I know how difficult it can be to coordinate conditions with someone who is on a different page in their thinking. What matters is not what is going on in the environment but what YOU are doing, and why. Maybe you and your brother could make a deal about which lights will remain on through Shabbat. As long as you have the lights you need without having to turn them on, what he does elsewhere is not your concern. It's not easy, but it takes that kind of effort to build the boundaries that make holiness possible.
I agree with Mark that there are times when the phone can, and should be used. Connecting with someone who you don't see, encouraging someone or simply seeing if they are okay is a good use for the phone. There may also be times when someone needs to connect with you that may need your help. In theory, a blanket no cell phone use policy sounds great, but there are instances where the cell phone is used for productive purposes.
Of course there are times when the phone can, and should be used. The key word I would apply is "urgent." If it is just to "encourage someone" or to see "if they are okay", there is no urgency. What about those activities can't be done on Friday or Sunday? And that question takes on extra weight if someone wants to cultivate a space for holiness in the week. The rabbis were very careful to put up the fence some distance from the cliff, and there are very good reasons to be concerned for what will happen once that screen is in that hand.
I had only a vague idea of who Charlie Kirk was prior to his shooting. I knew he was a staunch supporter and defender of Israel and the Jewish People, which I appreciated (and, sadly, seems to be becoming more and more rare among Christian Conservatives.) Other than that, I didn't know anything about him. I was surprised to find out he kept a sabbath and appreciate that his dedication to doing so has encouraged others to consider the idea. I especially appreciated learning that he turned his phone off during his sabbath. I don't do that, but your book and this post is certainly causing me to wonder what I have been missing out on by not doing so. Thank you for this blog and your encouragement towards leading a more sanctified life.
Thank you, Sarah. All of what I am saying is directed to leading a more sanctified life. If that's important to you, then the concerns about phones are pertinent. There is a direct connection. One of the key qualities of the holy is that it is "set apart" and everything that comes through the phone punctures that apart-ness.